On March 28th, I had major surgery on my spine and back. Since I was 11, I've been living with a condition called idiopathic scoliosis, which pretty much causes your spine to grow from side to side in a S-shape instead of straight. There is no way of knowing why this condition exists and once it's happening, it's hard to stop. I've learned to live with the constant pain and the consequences. I wore a back brace when I was younger, made out of hard plastic, that forced my spine into a straighter position. Unfortunately, once I stopped, my curvature continued to increase. For a few years now, I've been waiting for surgery, a spinal fusion, to correct my scoliosis. On March 28th, it happened. I was cut open on my right side, they split my ribcage wide open, punctured my right lung, removed one of my ribs, and then used metal rods and screws to fuse my spine. All of my ribs on the right side were separated from my spine, and then put back together. Needless to say the pain was excruciating. I spent 9 days at the hospital, drugged up on so much morphine that I can barely remember anything from that time. I had a total of 7 different tubes/drains/needles in me. One that drained blood from my punctured lung, another down my nose to my stomach, one draining blood from the scar, a urinal catheter... It was tough. I slowly had to learn to sit, stand and walk again. When I got back home, it only got worse. I got addicted to the morphine, which is unusual, but it happens. I had horrible withdrawal problems combined with anxiety, depression and panic attacks. I remember wishing that I was dead at several points. It has been extremely hard, painful and I've felt hopeless, about to give up, almost constantly along the way. It took 5 weeks for me to feel somewhat normal again, and today, I feel great. It's been 8 weeks since surgery, and I'm pretty much back to normal. I'm not on any painkillers anymore, I can leave the house and do whatever I feel like. And I look at my scar and I'm proud. This is something that I've been dreading for years, and I never really thought I could do it - but I did. And I survived! That's something no one can ever take away from me.


Before & After


Some of you may already be aware of this, and I really appreciate the nice messages I've been getting from some of you. I just wanted to share this with you all. Thank you so much for reading, and for caring. I hope to be back with new pictures soon, as soon as I'm strong enough to go shooting again.
Love,
Anna
















